today

God's spirit, who is in you, is greater than the devil, who is in the world. 1 John 4:4.

sometimes i really feel like the devils attempt at attacking me will be successful. sometimes it's hard for me to remember to stop and pray and understand that His works are beyond my imagination. i panic. i get scared. i cry. i do all this and ask the Lord "why? why are you doing this? why can't you make it stop?". I'm uspet and I don't understand. Although i pretend to be strong and in control of EVERY situation, I'M NOT. i'm sensitive, i'm a crybaby, my feelings are hurt easily and oftentimes i'm constantly doubting myself and thinking i'm never good enough. i don't want to be that kind of person. I wanna be confident in ALL that I do and i want to be okay by myself. I want to know that no one person can validate me. I need to learn that one person cannot dictate my happiness. How do you change something/someone so set in their ways? how do i begin to mold myself into the person that I WANT (need) to be after i've been this way for 23 freakin' years? It's tough. I don't think I spend enough time praying. I wish I'd spend half the time I spend fretting over people and things that really don't matter, to fix this, to pray, to read self-help books and just get to know and love myself better. God's spirit (which is definitely in me) is greater than the Devil. God's spirit should be so prevalent in me that these problems i'm facing should be non-existent right? WRONG. We all have issues/problems. God's spirit should be so prevalent within me that I KNOW and REALIZE his love is the most beautiful love. It is the greatest love and perhaps right now it is His love and only his love that I should be seeking. I should be seeking his validation as HE is the only person I belong to.

Have a blessed day! Jesus loves you. More than you will ever know, more than you can ever imagine. Think of the person you love the most and multiply that amount infinitely. That is true love.