All About the Meme of Randomness

I stole this from Eb over @ Renaissance Black Woman because it looked fun and i had no interest in blogging about anything meaningful today :)


Maybe I should...treat myself to a mani & pedi this evening!
I love the smell of...my bf's neck right below his ear & freshly bathed babies.
People would say that I...am rather difficult.
I don’t understand why...i constantly have money on my mind.
When I wake up in the morning...i am seriously mad @ the world.
I lost my will power to...abstain from eating chocolate.
Life is wonderful... when you are happy with who you are.
My past has...taught me who i do and do not want to be.
I get annoyed when...i have to wait for anything (baaad habit)
Parties are not...parties, unless i'm there :)
Dogs are... key in preparing for children.
Cats are...definitely not my thing. eww!
Tomorrow I am going to...leave for Palm Springs yay!
I have a low tolerance for... condescending people.
I'm totally terrified of..not being able to have children, never getting married, being unsuccessful & not going to Heaven :(
I wonder why I thought my life would be...totally different than what it is now.
Never in my life...have i been to a pro football game (hopefully that will change this upcoming football season).
High school was something that...i wish i could do all over again.
When I'm nervous...avoid all eye contact and text message..is that weird?
Take my advice...believe that all things are possible through Christ!
Making my bed is...something that i do sat- sun, unless i'm having visitors :)
I'm almost always...anxious about something.
I'm addicted to...gossip girl. just started watching it on Sidereel and i'm in love.
I want someone...to take me on a shopping spree.

I'm not tagging anyone. Do it if you'd like. I probably won't post tomorrow so have a great weekend :)

All about this week

It seems as though this week is just dragging on. I swear it should be Thursday. I'm fighting a cold and i'm very groggy, super tired and i just don't feel like myself. I've only gone to the gym once this week and i forgot my ipod so I only stayed for about an hour. On a happier note, I may be going to Palm Springs this weekend for my bf's b-day. You know what that means???? massages, lounging by the pool, fruity drinks and tons of rest & relaxation. I requested Monday off but my boss hasn't approved it yet. he better get on it. i need a 3-day weekend in Palm Springs. Otherwise, I might not get over this cold and I'll be too sick to come in on Monday. i'm kiddin'....kinda

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All about a sticky situation

blog-friends, i need some help/advice or maybe i just need to get this all out. i've recently found myself in a weird situation. a situation that shouldn't be weird, but it is and now i'm sorta confused. my best friend is dating a guy; she has been dating him for almost a year and since they've started dating our groups have sorta merged. we don't hang out with him and his friends ALL the time but we do hang out with them often and our girl group has sorta become friends with his guy group. so, back in May my friend ashlee celebrated her b-day @ a club and of course, Matt (the guy that my bestie is dating) and his friends came to the party. After the party, we sorta had an after party at my besties house and Ashlee (the b-day girl) and R, (Matt's best friend) hooked up. Now, my definition of hookin' up may be different than yours so i'll get a lil' more detailed; basically they made out for about a good 30 mins before someone walked in on them and ended all action. So, Ashlee and R hooked up that night and after that I never heard anything about them hanging out, going on a date, talking or anything like that. This R guy is very flirtatious. He flirts with all of us girls and honestly, I don't even consider it flirting because I know that's just his character. He and I have a special relationship though; we constantly bicker. He always picks on me about EVERYTHING and so I give him a hard time which leads to us always debating over something. R knows that I have a boyfriend in fact, he came to my birthday party and he met my boyfriend and they actually sorta hung out that night. I have no interest in R whatsoever and he has no interest in me either. I think he's hilarious, he's fun to hang out with and whenever we're all together I cannot stop laughing. So that's the background to the story and here's the story:

A couple of weekends ago My bestie, Ashlee & myself decided to join Matt and his boys at the beach. We all drove in one car and met everyone else there at the beach house. We get to the beach house and R stays at the house to work on his personal statement for the MCAT. We're at the beach for a couple of hours and when we return R asks me to read his personal statement and give him my opinion. So I do. We all hang out for a bit and then we leave and this is were things get ugly. On the way home R and I of course got into a heated discussion about something (honestly, i can't even remember what it was about) and we're talking and of course everyone is chiming in (except Ashlee). mind you, we're in an BMW X5-- not the most spacious car--and R is seating between Ashlee and myself. R asks me for my phone number and at first i hesitate because a) i have a boyfriend and b) i didn't want ashlee to get the wrong idea. so i asked him, why do you want my number and he says, "to talk about my paper. i'm going to send you the final after i make all the corrections" he also says, "i would never disrespect L (my boyfriend), so don't worry". So i give it to him. I continue going through pictures in his phone and that was that. We all get home and i can immediately tell that something is wrong with Ashlee. I ask her if she's good (because she had been drinking) and she said she was. We all say our goodbyes and my bestie and i of course start re-capping the day. She told me that Ashlee had mentioned to her that she couldn't believe that R was acting that way towards me while she was around. I asked my bestie her opinion and she agreed with me, he wasn't flirting that's just his personality. I dropped it, never brought it up again because really, it all seemed childish. R aim'd me later that night and told me that Ashlee was really upset with him and he didn't understand why. we kinda joked about it and then we changed the subject.

This all blew me away because it's so not Ashlee's character (or so i thought). She's dating a guy right now, so all of this just came out of the blue to me because, a) I honestly didn't think that R was flirting and b) had no clue she had any interest in R like that. I mean, I knew they hooked up that one time but I had never heard her mention anything about him after that. The morning after the beach i text her to make light of the situation, and i told her that i was aware that she was upset but that she was really trippin because I have no interest in R and he has none in me. I told her that we can barely stand one another and that's just how he is. She replies with "i'm over it". After that text, i'm not even gonna lie, i was a tad bit upset because i already felt like the situation was super childish and i tried to make light of it and she came back with a smart remark. But, I kept it pushin. didn't let it get to me. The next day Matt, my bestie, R and I all took a cycling class together. Ashlee comes in about half an hour late and only says hi to my bestie. After the class, she only talks to my bestie. I shake immediately because if i do stay around i'm probably going to say the wrong thing and that would just be all bad.

i haven't talked to her since the "i'm over it" text which isn't that out of the norm. an incident happened about a month ago where my bestie and i went with her to retrieve some of her stuff from her ex's house. he ended up getting physical with my best friend and myself and he broke my blackberry so, that sorta tainted my view of her. not because of what he did but because of some things i learned about her during and after that whole fiasco. so, since that happened i haven't really been talking to her regularly. but, i have been talking to R on a daily basis and that's what makes the situation weird. we all hung out (minus ashlee) on Saturday night and my bestie didn't want to tell Ashlee because she didn't want her to get mad and that's what makes the situation just ridiculous to me. If you honestly think that I cannot be friends with someone you hooked up with or have interest in you're crazy. Especially when you're dating someone else. I'm an adult and I decide who I will and won't be friends with and if you're threatened by me being his friend, i'm sorry but that's a personal problem. She keeps telling everyone, I'm not mad at her, i'm mad at him and I really want to tell her that I don't care who she's mad at; she's acting like a child. But, I haven't and I probably won't only because I don't want to make things akward for the rest of our friends and i'm trying to have a better attitude.

Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong? Should I really not hang out with him or be his friend because she gets upset about it? I don't think I would ever hang out with him one on one, but we do go out as a group and I do consider him a friend. The funny thing is, this whole situation has totally opened my eyes to the fact that maybe, her and I don't need to be friends. That may seem harsh but recently her actions have just been so ridiculous--that's another post in itself though. I just feel like the only reason I am her friend is because she's my bestie's friend and she sorta just joined our group. I don't think i'd ever be her friend outside of our group. Who she is is just not me. But really, do your friends have to be exactly like you? no, but shouldn't you be similar? I dunno. I guess I'll figure it all out one day. For now, I'll just take it day by day. Her actions don't affect me personally and I'm really not bothered by her being upset about this. I think it's lame and that's about it. I mean seriously, i'm not in the 6th grade and this just seems so juvenile to me.

Sorry for going on and on. I just woke up with this whole situation on the brain. If you read all this, you're amazing. Share your thoughts, I'm curious to know if I'm being a crappy friend or if she's just out of her mind.

All about Dark Knight business

hahaha, so my box office predictions weren't that off. it was indeed a great movie and i am totally not a superhero/comic book/magic powers kinda girl. i thoroughly enjoyed Dark Knight and all of it's darkness. i did not however enjoy Maggie Gyllenhal's lackluster performance. wtf?! Heath Ledger was just amazing and watching him was bittersweet. because there was some drama at the arclight, we all scored free tickets for another movie. yay! i spent the rest of my weekend relaxing @ Hermosa Beach with my gang.i seriously needed that. now i'm at work annoyed with people who give me their crap to do as if i don't have my own crap to take care of. sometimes people seriously take your niceness for granted. i'm going to start being a tad bit more stern. i need to start setting some boundaries. i find myself wanting to snap more and more each day. i need a vacation ASAP.

all about celebrating

yesterday i had a pretty crappy day (this funk really needs to get over itself and leave already). it was so bad that i think i actually shed a tear at work which is and isn't a huge deal. it isn't a huge deal, because i'll admit (only here on my blog though), i'm a crier. i used to be really bad, but now i'm a lil' better. anyhow, i'm still a crier so it wasn't out of the ordinary. however, i NEVER cry in front of people (unless you're one of my best friends, dad or boyfriend)! I didn't cry in front of anyone yesterday because my desk is in the cut but come on, what if someone would've dropped something off?! or wanted to ask a question or heard me sniffling. Maybe this is TMI, but it is that time of the month and maybe i'm just super sensitive but yea, i'm a weenie and i cried.at.work. i quickly called my best friend and she helped me get me back in shape. 5 mins later my boss called me into his office and gave me a raise woot woot!!! 2 hours later i'm in a better mood, walking to my car, hop in my car, go to turn it on and my key just doesn't want to work. I make sure i'm in the right car (seriously) and try again. and again. mind you, i'm in the underground parking lot, i have no service on my phone, i'm wearing a long sleeve dress and it's about 115 degrees. i cried again. this time a whiney cry. i go back to the lobby and call AAA. they come bang my key in with a hammer and send me on my merry way. i go to my besties and she surprises me with these really cute pink sheets i've been trying to find (love the girl), her aunt makes us dinner and i watched a new episode of Run's House. I leave, go to start my car and guess what? the key doesn't work AGAIN. instead of crying (again) i take of my heel bang the freakin key and go on my merry way. seriously, do you notice the trend? good, bad, good, bad, good bad.

it happened again this morning. apparently i need a new igniton. i'm not going to worry about that right now because honestly, i don't even have the energy to deal with that right now. on a happier note, i'm going to see Dark Knight tonight to celebrate my raise and the stupid funk that i've been in. yes, i'm celebrating it- because it's dying tonight. i'm over it. i'm forcing myself to get over it. so it was good while it lasted (haha,yea right) but that's it! no more! even though things are pretty shitty right now, the good definitely outweighs the bad so that's what i'm celebrating tonight. everyone is predicting Dark Knight will do about 130 million this weekend. i honestly think it'll do more. somewhere between 160-180 million and i'm not just saying this because i work for WB but it's releasing on a tonnnnn screens. it could happen! that's it. i'm out. i'll let you know how awesome it is tomorrow. ciao.

all about me, being random

things have been pretty stodgy for me lately. i guess you can attribute it to the awfulness i dealt with last week and the fact that i'm an emotional, bratty woman. lately i don't have the energy to do anything. that actually makes no sense though because i've been to the gym everyday since saturday and i'm going tonight for a cycling class even though the core of my body is extremely sore. but, outside of the gym and work and other places i must attend (church) i don't feel like doing anything. i didn't even make it to church on sunday. so since i'm in a foul mood, i decided to list some random shat (that's my new word, i use it when i really wanna say shit) because lists excite me and make me happy-unless said lists have anything to do with bills.

• i realllllly want a boy puppy and i want to name him Bentley (yes, like the car)
• i registered for school the other day and i'm kinda excited
• i need new perfume and i'm thinking of buying this one (cause it smells super yummy and the bottle is cute too) and this one because my current bottle is runnin' low.
• i've been a pretty shitty assistant as of late. i keep letting little things slip through the cracks.
• i really need to buy a new hair straightener.
• i've been wearing my hair curly for about 2 months, that's a record for me.
• i've recently noticed that i'm extremely attracted to Australian men.
• i've also noticed that not only are most Australian men super sexy, they tend to dress very well.
• i need to arrange to vacation in Australia sooner than later.
• i really appreciate the comments i rec'd after the loss of my brother.
• when i first started blogging, i never imagined i'd "meet" some really cool people who'd actually care about me and my life.
• i want to tell my friends and bf about my blog but i'm super scared!?
• i dunno why, i just am.
• even though i love my beautiful blackberry, i kinda want an iphone.
• why is that i typically purchase two new phones a year?!
• is it weird that when i'm working out 9 out of 10 times i'm imagining that i'm fighting someone?
• i live in southern california and i haven't been to the beach ONCE this summer. that is a disgrace.
• actually, i take that back, i've been to Newport but not to actually frolic about in the sand/water
• i haven't been out in about 2 months; that is also a disgrace.
• i am in L O V E with this stuff, especially the coconut flavor.
• i think i may have OD'd though because now, the thought of it kinda makes me nauseous.
• oh well, i'll move on to the strawberry flavor.
• i need an accountant, seriously i do. i have no clue where all my money goes.
• i'm having some serious baby fever but then i think about the above statement and i snap back into reality.
• my bf says he doesn't want to get married until he's 27, which is fine.
• he wants to start having children next year...muahhahahhha.
• should i help him find a baby mama?

That's enough random-ness for one day. Back to work I go!!

all about stupid blogger

i'm over blogger and i'm seriously considering taking my blog to wordpress. my Pay It Forward post just disappeared. it is seriously nowhere.to.be.found. how does something like that happen? ugh. i'm pissed. i'll re-post later.

all about my sister

I have to say that my sister Nikki is probably one of the strongest women I know. To bury someone you've been with for nearly 20 years is probably the hardest thing in the entire world. She's had this man by her side since she was 16 years old and now he's gone. Just like that. In one day. To look your children in the eye and not be able to explain to them why this has happened is even more painful. I cannot imagine. This entire situation has really opened my eyes. I've only attended 2 funerals in my entire life (Thank God), yesterday was the second. I don't really deal with death well. I feel like I have to be strong and I don't allow myself to cry. I try not to think about it and I get super angry with God. Yesterday I was super angry. Here's why I was angry; there are so many young african-american boys and girls who grow up father-less. Some who've never met their father, some who have fathers who just choose not to be apart of their children's lives and some who have father's who are either a) constantly in jail or b) in and out of jail. Yesterday, I had a hard time comprehending why God would choose to take Danny away from his children. Why is that a Father who attended every football game, every basketball game, every track meet for his oldest son will not be there when his youngest son starts football season this year? Why won't he be able to see his little girl off to kindergarten in September? I kept crying because I was sad, angry and scared for my sister and for her children. I had this angry feeling inside of me throughout the entire funeral service. Afterwards we went to the burial site and my sister and my nephew released two doves into the sky and as they did I saw my sister smile. There were still tears streaming down her face but she smiled and then it hit me, God's timing is perfect. He makes no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason and I will never be able to know and understand why. But, I do know that my sister is one of the strongest women I know. I do know that even though this is unbearably painful, she will make it and He knows that. So with that, my anger subsided and I allowed myself to be at peace that although this may not seem fair, it's His will. Those children are so loved and they will always know about their daddy and they will be taken care of. My brother will be there for A.J's first football game and Savannah will have a really cool sleep-over the night before kindergarten with her mommy and her aunties. We will pull through as a family. My sister will be an amazing single-mommy and my niece and nephews will know that they had an amazing father and they have an amazing mother.

all about yumminess

so, i posted this once before but somehow the post just disappeared. and no, i'm not crazy. there were actual comments left so i know i posted :).

A couple of weeks ago I entered my very first Pay It Forward contest and I actually won. Ashley over at Our Little Apartment sent me a box packed with great stuff. I've never taken the time to profess my love for chocolate here on my blog but she somehow picked up on it, and of course i love her for that. I got a really cute Eco Bag to accompany me on my weekly trips to Trader Joes. I got a very yummy Dagoba Organic Chocolate Latte bar that i ate in nearly one sitting (what?! don't judge me). Ashley also introduced me to Annie's Homegrown Mac & Cheese which my bf and I will be trying sometime this week. Have you ever had a Cashew Cookie Larabar? omg!!!! goooodness. I've had them before and I'm saving this one for a special occasion (yes, i'm a dork!!) Cinnamon Roll flavor is also really yummy!!! Ashley also hooked me up with some Dark Chocolate Sensation Hot Chocolate, an assortment of awesome teas and too many mini-Milky Ways. I am in heaven. This was seriously way more than I expected. Thanks again Ashley!

I will be continuing the Pay It Forward Contest (but only if you promise to pass it along). Leave me a comment and I'll pick one lucky gift recipient.

Good Luck!!!

i'm alive and well. haven't felt like blogging much and i'm super tired. this long weekend wasn't long enough. maybe i enjoyed myself too much. i was seriously almost in tears last night after realizing my wonderful weekend was almost over. the funeral is on wednesday and 4 year old savannah is taking this the hardest. she doesn't want her dad to be an angel and she is soooo mad @ God. The funny thing about children is they can totally remove themselves from reality. one minute she's screaming, crying, running, kicking, cursing her mother and God. the next minute she's fine. she'll be okay. i know she will. it's definitely one of the toughest situations i've witnessed.

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my brother in law suddenly passed away on monday. please pray for my niece and nephew who don't understand why their daddy hasn't been home.