all about my sister

I have to say that my sister Nikki is probably one of the strongest women I know. To bury someone you've been with for nearly 20 years is probably the hardest thing in the entire world. She's had this man by her side since she was 16 years old and now he's gone. Just like that. In one day. To look your children in the eye and not be able to explain to them why this has happened is even more painful. I cannot imagine. This entire situation has really opened my eyes. I've only attended 2 funerals in my entire life (Thank God), yesterday was the second. I don't really deal with death well. I feel like I have to be strong and I don't allow myself to cry. I try not to think about it and I get super angry with God. Yesterday I was super angry. Here's why I was angry; there are so many young african-american boys and girls who grow up father-less. Some who've never met their father, some who have fathers who just choose not to be apart of their children's lives and some who have father's who are either a) constantly in jail or b) in and out of jail. Yesterday, I had a hard time comprehending why God would choose to take Danny away from his children. Why is that a Father who attended every football game, every basketball game, every track meet for his oldest son will not be there when his youngest son starts football season this year? Why won't he be able to see his little girl off to kindergarten in September? I kept crying because I was sad, angry and scared for my sister and for her children. I had this angry feeling inside of me throughout the entire funeral service. Afterwards we went to the burial site and my sister and my nephew released two doves into the sky and as they did I saw my sister smile. There were still tears streaming down her face but she smiled and then it hit me, God's timing is perfect. He makes no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason and I will never be able to know and understand why. But, I do know that my sister is one of the strongest women I know. I do know that even though this is unbearably painful, she will make it and He knows that. So with that, my anger subsided and I allowed myself to be at peace that although this may not seem fair, it's His will. Those children are so loved and they will always know about their daddy and they will be taken care of. My brother will be there for A.J's first football game and Savannah will have a really cool sleep-over the night before kindergarten with her mommy and her aunties. We will pull through as a family. My sister will be an amazing single-mommy and my niece and nephews will know that they had an amazing father and they have an amazing mother.