all about waiting

i think within these last few days, He has made it very evident that 4 years isn't really that long. I could be wrong. Maybe I'm just instilling these thoughts in my own head. Nonetheless, it feels good. Not only does it feel good but, it sounds good. Today I am happy. Today stink made me happy. I'm torn. I don't know what the "right" thing is but seriously, I can't continue to allow the fact that I'm scared to get in the way of EVERYTHING. Yes, I'm scared but in all actuality; shouldn't 3 years in itself be comforting? We were having a very simple conversation via text messaging today and the conversation went there and he took it there and for once i felt like we were finally on the same page. I felt that maybe both of us are fighting for this. Maybe we are a team. He asked me to move in with him on Sunday after I had been gone for about an hour. I smiled because I'd love to but, inside I know that I can't. Hopefully, I'll be able to hold off for 3.5 years. I'm praying this whole "thing" is worth the wait. I kinda regret sharing with a certain someone that this blog exists because now I feel that I have to be extra careful with the information I share. There is definitely more that I'd like to say about this particular topic. Not for anyone in particular but, for myself. So one day I can look back on all this and laugh or cry or remember what I was feeling at this very moment.