I have reached the ultimate stage of uncomfortableness. o-m-g, you will not believe how big I am. I have to remember to take a picture. I don't think I've been around a camera for the past two weeks. At my last appt., (which was Monday), I was 3cm dilated, 100% effaced and Avery was at 0 station. This is all wonderful news except, I'm having NO contractions whatsoever. Or maybe I am and I just can't feel them. At any rate, I'm definitely in the early stages of labor but this could go on for weeks. It is now hard to eat, sleep, walk, talk, laugh, etc. I mad an appt to have a Mommy to Be massage and mani/pedi at Glen Ivy tomorrow and I'm hoping this will put me in a wonderful state of relaxation.

On a totally unrelated note, have any of you tuned in to watch Guilianna and Bill? I've watched the last 2 episodes and I love them. They are too adorable.

I have tons of pics to post but ehhhh...i don't wanna download them. Yes, I'm THAT lazy. It's horrible, I know.

I'll keep you guys posted :)

xo

Chunky Monkey

So it looks like Avery may be a lil' chunker. I had and ultrasound on Friday and I learned that Avery is approximately 6lb 6oz. My doctor predicted that she would be around 8lbs 6oz if I make it to my due date. I'm 1cm dilated and 80% thinned out. I'm pretty sure that Friday will be my last day at work. I'd like to have a week off before her arrival so I'm hoping she doesn't make her debut until the week of August 10th :) I still feel pretty good. I'm tired this morning but I had a super busy weekend and didn't sleep well last night.

I just wanted to post a quick update. Back to work I go!

Hope you all have a great week.

xo

Weekly Survey

Can you believe I'm blogging from home as I'm sitting on the couch, watching the Laker game and eating a handful of spicy guacamole Pringles..teehhee. I didn't want to go another week without doing my weekly survey so here we go.....


How far along?: 29 weeks.

Total weight gain: 20+ lbs. Not too sure of the exact number. My next appt is a week from tomorrow.
How big is baby? According to my books, Avery should be a lil' over 2 lbs

Maternity clothes?: Yes! I feel like I need to buy one more pair of jeans because My others are feeling a lil' snug, but is it really worth it considering I only have 10 more weeks to go?

Sleep?: ehhh, not too bad. Thankful that I have yet to experience those crazy charlie horses I've heard about.

Best Moment this week: Purchasing Avery's stroller and car seat thanks to my wonderful brother and SIL

Movement?: She's starting to move more throughout the day and less at night. Her movement is definitely getting stronger and she's still nestled in the left side of my belly, which seems to be her favorite spot.

Food cravings?: S W E E T' S!! It was Popsicles last week but now I want cookies and M&M's and Hot Tamales and Pop Tarts and Fruit Snacks. OMG! It's madness!

Labor signs?: No. I have had some horrible lower back pain but I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with working out on the treadmill and nothing to do with labor.

Belly button in or out?: hmm, most days it's flat but at times it looks like it's poking out.

What I miss: The ability to bend over.

What I'm looking forward to: Maternity photos, baby shower, meeting my daughter.

Milestone: Another week down approx 11 more to go.

That's it for now. I gotta get back to this game and my precious puppy. I have pics to upload but I'm on my bf's laptop so they probably won't be up until tomorrow or sometime this weekend. Speaking of weekends, I have nothing planned for this upcoming weekend. I'm soooo excited. I get to relax. Yesssss!

What are YOU reading?

For some reason, within the last month or so I've been reading like crazy. I even checked out our local library, got a card and checked out some books!! That's huge for me. I typically buy books, read them once, and toss them in the closet. So, I wanted to ask you internets, what are you reading? Have you read anything good lately? Anything I should read? I am currently reading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingslover and I cannot put it down. I'm almost done though so I'm looking for some others. I heard The Help by Kathryn Stockett is also a great read so, I might check that out as well.

I'm behind on my Preggo survey, yes I know - I suck. I really don't like blogging from home. Maybe I would If I had more time or if I didn't have the most adorable dog ever to play with.

I'm definitely feeling pregnant though! I am now officially in my 7 month. I feel like time is just flying by. I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy has flown by. I still remember taking that first pregnancy test. I remember my first ultrasound and I remember when we found out we were having a girl and I was just 14 weeks! Where has the time gone?!?!

As time quickly dwindles down, I find myself getting more anxious, more nervous, more scared. I cannot believe that in less than 3 months, I will meet my daughter face to face. Part of me secretly wishes I would just stay pregnant forever. It's silly - I know. But it's so true.

I've had a wonderful pregnancy. No complications (other than the minor scare at the very beginning) no morning sickness, no sickness at all really. I've felt pretty good throughout my entire pregnancy and I thank God for that. I am now hitting that uncomfortable phase. It hurts to bend over. It takes quite a bit of work to get out of bed, or off the couch or even out of the car for that matter. My hips are starting to ache throughout the night and I find that I'm constantly flipping from one side to the other. Avery has positioned herself right above my bladder so I now feel the need to pee not once, not twice, but three times before I leave the house! We went to pick up Chipotle for dinner last night and every single time we made our way to the door I would stop and say "hold on, I have to go again". This morning at 3am I woke up because my belly was itching like crazy (still no stretch marks, yay!). I got up, stubbed my toe on the bed went to the bathroom and slathered my belly with oil, without turning the light on. If that's not determination, I don't know what is. I'm determined to stay stretch mark free!

At any rate, it's all starting to sink in that we've reach the end so to speak. We're in our final trimester. I'm seriously amazed, honored and thrilled. God chose me to be Avery's mom. The thought of that gives me chills and makes my eyes water.

Anyway, that is not what this post was supposed to be about. I just wanted to know what book to read. lol. Back to work I go.

xoxo

Big news..literally

So two BIG things happened to me recently. I had my 26 week appt. last week and I have now gained a total of 20lbs. I'm not even 7 months pregnant and I've gained 20lbs!!! Some women gain 20lbs throughout their entire pregnancy. I don't know what's going on. Unfortunately my appt. was not with my Doctor. I had to reschedule and the soonest available appt. was with another doctor. He didn't put me on a strict diet or anything but he did advise me to slow down. I really don't know why/how I am gaining so much weight. It's crazy. I definitely noticed a difference. A couple of non-maternity jeans that were fitting two weeks ago suddenly don't fit anymore. I'm totally okay with the weight gain. I don't think I look too bad. Sometimes I do feel huge but I'm always being told that I'm all belly. I definitely can tell that I am not all belly but I guess you'd have to see me naked or in underwear or a bathing suit to really see the difference and Lord knows I will not be putting on a bathing suit anytime soon. I haven't been great with exercising. I completely stopped when I found out I was pregnant because during my first trimester I didn't have the energy to do ANYTHING. I pretty much just walk now and I will occasionally pop in my pregnancy yoga DVD. After last weeks visit I have decided to hop on the treadmill again. I will of course take it easy and listen to my body but I think I need to step up my physical activity a tad bit. I refuse to "diet" while I'm pregnant. I don't think it's necessary. I'm not a horrible eater and I don't think I overindulge at all. I hoped to gain no more than 30lbs during this pregnancy but it looks like that's not going to happen :( I'm totally okay with the weight gain though. I lose weight pretty quickly and I'm fattening up for the most precious gift ever and that is totally fine by me.

Here I am at 26 weeks. I was in the middle of cleaning the bathroom so ignore the toilet paper roll and the frizzy hair. Next time I'm going to take a picture of my thighs so you can see the real weight gain ;)

In other news, I came home on Tuesday night to this lil' cutie. Meet the newest member of our family. Juicy! I am in l o v e with this precious pup. She's such a good puppy. She's a Lhasa Apso and she's 5 months old.

My bf's aunt purchased a male (his name is Lucky) from the same litter a little over a month ago and I wouldn't shut up about him. I really wanted a dog but wasn't too sure about the timing considering our daughter will be here in approximately 13 weeks but, I figure it would be harder to add a pup into the mix once she has made her arrival. We've only had two accidents so far and I think that's pretty good considering the fact that she is trying to adapt to an entirely different environment. She hasn't had her shots yet so the bf is taking care of that this afternoon and then lil' Miss Juicy will be heading straight to the groomers for a nice haircut and some pretty pink bows!

So, there's the big news. I'm getting fat and we got a puppy! lol. Seriously though, life has been great lately. I couldn't ask for anything more. I feel so blessed. I'm constantly thinking to myself "okay, something bad is going to happen, things have just been TOO good lately". I have got to stop it with that. I'm still looking for a church in OC. I haven't found one yet but I am determined to find a place that feels like home. Keep me in your prayers yall.

xoxo

Weekly Survey & Horrible, no good blogger

Okay, I'll admit it. I suck at blogging. I wait and wait to load pictures and post about what's going on and then I put it off for so long that I no longer wanna do it! It's horrible. I should probably be better at documenting my pregnancy. Moving forward, I will, I will, I will!

I've decided to do a weekly survey that I've seen on a couple of other blogs. I think it might be fun so here goes....

Weekly Survey:

How far along?: 24 weeks. Is that 6 months? The week to month conversion confuses me.

Total weight gain: At my last appointment I was up 17 lbs (I cannot believe I just admit ed that to the internets). Who knows where I'm at now.

How big is baby?: A lil' over 1 lb. The other 16 lbs have made a home in my thigh/butt area.

Maternity clothes?: Yup. Not frumpy maternity clothes though and honestly, I'm still wearing my pre-prego clothes too.

Stretch Marks?: Nope, and I pray it stays this way.

Sleep?: Sleepin' like a baby but it's getting harder to roll over from one side to the other.

Best moment this week?: Waking up at 3am to the sound of my bf talking to Avery while she was kicking like crazy.

Movement?: EXTREMELY active between 11pm - 2am. She goes nuts late at night. She gives me a couple of kicks throughout the day too. So precious.

Food cravings?: No cravings.

Labor signs?: Nope

Belly button in or out?: Not in or out. Just flat.

What I miss: I know this sounds horrible but I miss my tiny waist. There are so many skirts that I want to wear that are high waisted and flowy but I can't :( Avery's so worth it though).

What I'm looking forward to: My baby shower.

Milestone: Viability!

In other news, my BF's Great Grandmother turned 90 this past weekend! 90 years old! I hope & pray I live that long. She is hilarious and tells the most amazing stories. Here's a pic of her and the bf. (I have no clue why he looks like a 16 year old, but I think it's kinda cute :) and yes, that is his 90 year old Great Grandma throwing up a peace sign. lol.

and the bestest news....my best friend is pregnant! whooo hooo! Our babies are gonna be 5 months apart. Now I have to really convince her to move from VA to CA soon. I'm hoping she has a boy so he can be Avery's lil' boyfriend :)

I'll have my lil' sis for the weekend so I'll definitely have my hands full. Have a great weekend and happy Mother's Day to all the mama's!

xo

Avery Update

I wanted to hold off on posting until I was able to scan the ultrasound pics but after reading Maegan's comment I figured I'd better post something and add the pics later :). According to my doctor, Lil' Miss Avery is "fantastic" and according to the ultrasound tech she loves the camera. While the ultrasound tech was trying to take measurements, Avery kept wriggling around. She only wanted us to check out her cute lil' face. I swear she has my nose but is it too soon to tell? I really want to get a 4D ultrasound around 30 weeks to see who she looks like but then again I don't. I mean, I do want to be somewhat surprised when she's born. I still have time to think it over though.

It's amazing how much Avery has changed since our last ultrasound. She has the cutest profile. We have a snapshot of her feet and it's the cutest thing in the world. I have to figure out how to work this damn scanner here! She weighs just under 1 pound and is measuring right on track. I on the other hand have gained an obscene amount of weight. My doctor keeps telling me that I'm fine and not to worry because i'm tall but geesh. I feel so huge and the funny thing is, I'm not this crazy pregnant woman who craves chocolate cake and ice cream and eats 24/7. I sometimes have to force myself to eat because a) I don't have an appetite most days and b) after three or four bites I feel extremely full. I refuse to be overly concerned about my weight gain though. I'd be cool with gaining 200 lbs as long as Avery is A-ok.

I have to get back to work now. Hope everyone is having a great week! I'll post more tomorrow.

xo

Sorry for the absence. I've been busy, busy, busy. I've finally relocated and I'm now officially living in Orange County. I have had so much going on. I haven't had time to catch up on anything. I feel so behind. We don't have internet yet so I'm posting from work per Katleyn's request :)

Here is my almost 21 week belly shot. This was taken this morning before work. **Excuse my stark white walls, I'm trying to convince the bf that we should paint them a grey-ish color. We'll see.

Anyways, Avery is moving so much now! It's the most amazing feeling e v e r. The other day she kicked me so hard I jumped. It's hard not to when you have no clue when to expect those lil' kicks and movements. I feel like she's positioned very low in my pelvic area. I want her to move up already. I'm sure she will eventually. As you can see, I'm officially showing. I still have yet to inform my boss but he's been out of town for two weeks and I think it's kinda lame to shoot him an email, no? You would think he's my father or something the way I'm avoiding having this conversation with him.

We had a beautiful Easter. I enjoyed bf's church but I REALLY missed my church. I just wanted to hear MY pastor, I wanted to be in MY familiar place and I soooo badly wanted to enjoy IHPC Praise & Worship. I'm going to watch the sermon online but unfortunately, the Praise & Worship is not available online :( boo hoo!

I have to get back to work now. Hope everyone has a great week.

xo

Pregnancy Brain

I've taken the phrase "pregnancy brain" to a whole new level. I decided to wear a headband today and my head hurts! I think this particular headband is now too small. Even my head is getting fat! It's all downhill from here people. On a happier note, Avery has been kickin' me like crazy the past couple of days and I love, love, love the feeling! So, the fat head is t o t a l l y worth it.

Oh, and my birthday was super special. I had a great day. My family, friends and boyfriend went above and beyond for lil' ol' me and I'm super grateful. I am such an idiot and did not pull out my camera ONCE! So everyone else has pictures and I have nada. I have to take a picture of my fave gift so you all can squeal with delight at it's cuteness. Too adorable for words.

Hope you're all having a great week.

xo

Boy or Girl, that is the question

So I tried scanning my ultrasounds but the quality was horrible. I'll wait till I have my official 20 week ultrasound and then I'll post those ones but, I will not make you wait for the big reveal. We are having a............

B A B Y G I R L!!!!!

Of course we thought we were having a boy but we now cannot wait until Lil' Miss Avery joins us. My official due date is August 28th and I'm praying for a healthy baby girl who doesn't cry much and loves to sleep through the night :).

I have much to blog about (that isn't baby) related but I'll have to do that from home. Hope you're all having a great week.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

16 Weeks

Here we are at 16 Weeks. This picture was taken after eating a huge bowl of Tortilla Soup and 2 pieces of pizza at California Pizza Kitchen so my tummy's really not that big but, you get the idea. my stomach hasn't "popped" yet. I'm pretty sure those who don't know I'm pregnant would probably think that I've gained a couple of pounds but I still don't look pregnant; maybe a lil' more plump OR maybe I'm just in denial :) The shirt I'm wearing was actually my first maternity clothing purchase. I swore I would never wear maternity clothes but I found this site and fell in love. My SIL took me shopping this week and I got a ton of maxi dresses and a Bella Band. I really hope I can continue to wear my jeans throughout this pregnancy. I did get a pair of maternity jeans though, juuust in case.

I feel pretty good. I had a horrible cold/flu over the weekend but my doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and I'm finally feeling better. I'm not super tired anymore and the headaches have died down. I'm now just waiting to feel my lil' muffin move!

I'll scan my ultrasound pics tomorrow at work because I don't have scanner. So yea, I'll be a cheapo and use the huge one at work for free! I'll give you a hint on whether muffin is a boy or girl IT'S initials are A.B.W. lol, not a great hint, huh?! lol, you'll find out tomorrow :)

p.s. thank you for the sweet comments, they mean a lot :)

Part Dos

Seriously, reading Nie Nie's blog brings me to tears sometimes. I cannot even imagine what she must feel like. I just read her most recent post and it made me think of something I heard yesterday(can't remember if it was in a song or what) "Live as if you were dead before" which is kinda similar to "live every day as if it were your last" but then it's not. Can you imagine dying and having the opportunity to come back and do it all over again, as YOU?! The thought of that is insane. Anyways, here I am rambling..on to my post...

I've been so "over" blogging lately. I have no clue why. I still enjoy reading what others but the thought of updating my own seems like such a task. Maybe it's because I'm approximately 15 weeks behind on real updates. My life has been completely transformed within the last 2 months and blogging about it hasn't been a priority. At the same time, I keep kicking myself for not posting because I'd like to some day look back on this time and reminisce..anyways.let's try this again...on to my post...

So, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive and surprisingly, I did not freak out. Which is weird. Looking back, I wonder why I didn't cry or get upset or scream. I guess because I immediately knew what would and wouldn't be happening. I was going to be a mom because I definitely wasn't having an abortion. BTW, I am 100% pro-choice. I believe that every woman has the right to decide for themselves what route to take but, I myself didn't consider it.

My boyfriend is and was %100 supportive. We were both scared out of our minds and I did NOT talk about for the first two weeks. I was DEPRESSED. Actually DEPRESSED doesn't even scratch the surface. I didn't talk to any of my friends and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was ignoring calls, text messages, emails everything. I didn't want to have anything to do with anyone and honestly, I could barely tolerate my boyfriend. We fought soooo much. For some strange reason, I thought the way to fix this was to break up with him...looking back on that I can't help but laugh because really, that is such an idiotic thought but seriously, that's how I felt. I just felt like everything was over. My life would be over. I'm not married, I'm not ready, this is not what I wanted. How and why would this happen. Everything in my life was sooooo perfect and then I had to go and get pregnant. And I pretty much continued to feel that way until I woke up one morning and I was bleeding. I called my doctor and informed him of what was going on. He told me to come in to his office at noon. That day at work, I was a nervous wreck. I kept thinking "omg, what if I had a miscarriage?" "Is it because I was so negative, is it because stink and I were fighting so much, is this my fault, is there something wrong with me?" I started seeing things from a different perspective. It was one thing for me to not want this baby and to feel like this was such a horrible curse but it was another thing for me to realize that there was a possibility that maybe I wouldn't even be involved in the decision making of this child's life. Maybe he/she would be taken from me and how horrible would that be? I started pleading with God. I was praying my lil' butt off. Prayers that went something like this: "Please God, don't let me have a miscarriage, I promise I will stop complaining and being ungrateful". "Dear God, I'm sorry for getting so upset over nothing, I didn't mean to hurt the baby, If you give me another chance I'll neeeeever do it again". To make a long story short, I didn't have a miscarriage. I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. After hearing that lil' heart beat, I promised myself that I was gonna drop the "Why Me?" plea. Because really, having a child is a blessing. I don't care how you look at it. No this isn't the way I wanted to do it and my life will NEVER be the same but, at the end of the day His plans are far greater than mine so why fight it?

So that's the story. A long one, I know and I apologize but there was a lot to cram into one post. So it's official, I'm having a baby! ahhhhhh! I still can't believe it. Sometimes I'll be driving and it'll hit me like a ton of bricks. It's still hard to believe.

I'm 15 weeks along and I finally have a lil' baby bump. We do know the sex but I'll wait till my next post to share that info along with a picture of my baby bump :)

Have a great weekend!

xo

the BIG update Part 1

Sorry about the spacing, blogger is ridiculous and will not allow me to space out my own damn post!!!.

So in my previous post I mentioned that I had some big news and that my friends, was putting it lightly. I have some major, life changing, scary, semi-exciting news. Let me start off by saying this is all new to me. I'm still not 100% sure as to how I feel about this whole situation and I'm sure that my feelings and emotions and thoughts will change on a day to day basis and I can deal with that. Some of the things I say/write may sound harsh, wrong or crass but I cannot discuss this situation without being 100% real because it is a very REAL situation. I will say that no matter how I feel, no matter what I want or think I want at this time I know that I am blessed and I will NEVER forget that. Oh and another thing this may be a lil' graphic..sorry but we're all adults, if you don't like what you're reading, skip ahead. kthx.

So, I'll start from the beginning. In early November I went to have my yearly PAP which is already a horrible appointment to begin with but it's a must and I'm a trooper so of course I went along with it. My appointment was with a Nurse Practitioner because my (amazing) Gyno was out of town. Maybe I should give you a lil' background, I previously had a cyst on one of my ovaries so I was familiar with the pain associated with having a cyst in your girly areas. That cyst appeared about a year ago and was monitored closely and eventually went away. This time around, I had been experiencing some pain but wasn't really sure if it was the normal discomfort I experience when I'm ovulating or if it was pain that could possibly be caused by a cyst. Also, the pain that I experienced upon first finding out about the cyst that I had a year ago was excruciating and this was nothing like that. So, I figured I was good but mentioned it anyway.

Well, the lovely Nurse Practitioner suggests that I have an ultrasound to check it out, so I do. She tells me she thinks I have fibroid's and I immediately freak out. My first thought? I will NEVER be able to have children. In retrospect, I handled it pretty well though. I didn't tell anyone, not even my boyfriend and figured that I wouldn't even think about it until my next appointment.

Next appointment....My (amazing) Gyno is back! yay! He tells me that Nurse Practitioner lady is nuts, I do not have fibroid's but I do have a large cyst on my left ovary and he is a tad bit concerned. He switches my birth control and actually puts me on a higher dosage with hopes of me ovulating more regularly. He tells me to come back in four weeks after my cycle so that he can have another lookie. This is great!! I'm feeling much better. I immediately go and pick up my new birth control and go on my merry way.

Fast forward to the four week mark. I haven't gotten my period which doesn't really worry me too much. I know that I've been taking the same birth control for years so the new one may have thrown me off a bit. I reschedule my visit. Christmas comes around, New Years comes around and I'm so caught up with all of the Holiday hoopla I don't even think twice about it. That is UNTIL I spend a week at my boyfriends house and I am a complete and utter emotional wreck. The thought that I could possibly be pregnant still didn't cross my mind. My boyfriend mentioned it and I quickly shut him down. We hadn't even seen each other much in November because he was covering for another manager and working weekends and I was preparing/studying for finals so I seriously didn't see how it could be possible. The funny thing is shortly after I returned home from his house he called me and told me that his mom called him because she had a dream that I was pregnant, I seriously thought he was lying and he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. The next day his mom called me and told me she had a dream that I was pregnant and I gave birth to a fat baby that looked Asian. I laughed, told her that was not possible at this time and we changed the subject.

I hung up with her, ran to CVS and bought a test. I was too afraid to do it alone, so I went to one of my best friends house. I took the test and what did I see? Two PINK lines.